Sunday, September 20, 2009


We've had a beautiful late summer and fall. In our country, the leaves are turning and falling even though we haven't had a real frost yet.

One week from today will be the 1st anniversary of Emily's death. It will be a hard day, but we're getting out of town for the weekend to be together as a family.

We're doing pretty well. I'm thankful that God has helped our family and that we are carrying on. I don't know how next weekend will be, but if Emily's birthday and the first Christmas without her are any indication, I think we'll be okay.

I was reading C.S. Lewis' An Experiment in Criticism last week and I came across a quote that arrested me. He was talking about the difference between real grief and the kind that you meet in a literary tragedy. He wrote, "Sometimes it remains for life, a puddle in the mind which grows always wider, shallower, and more unwholesome" (p. 78 in the Cantos edition).

I don't want that to happen, I don't think it's happening, but the very fact that this sentence leapt off the page at me warns me that it could very easily happen. At the very least, isn't this a picturesque way of putting the lingering bitterness that can remain after a loss?

I don't want to wallow in it, but the grief is still very real. However, God's goodness and grace shines ever brighter and I am thankful for the sure hope we have in our Saviour Jesus Christ.

Juanita found a poem about September that is, as she put it, bittersweet. We're enjoying a beautiful autumn, but there is a difficult anniversary to remember.


MagistraCarminum said...

Praying for you all, Juanita and Terry. I have been especially praying as this anniversary approaches. I know God will be sufficient for you, but to loosely quote anther saying of Lewis, we don't question whether God's will is good: we just wonder how painful it will be.

Jen said...

Hi Terry,

I'm a lurker on your blog... the only time I have ever commented is on your post about Emily's death.

I ran across this video on YouTube earlier today and thought of your family when I saw it.

I'll be praying for you and your family as you face a tough anniversary in the next few days.

May God's peace and comfort be with you,
Jennifer in Ontario

stauf46 said...

Thanks, Jen

Our girls (10 and 8) love the song Cinderella by SCC. I'm getting used to hearing it, but it still chokes me up sometimes.

Thanks, too, Chris. You've been a great friend for our family!

Jim said...

Terry - we appreciate the tremendous faith and faithfulness of you and your family. We will pray especially for you all this week, that God's Word would sustain and uplift you.

"My joy in unrelenting pain — I have not denied the words of the Holy One." Job 6:10

Anonymous said...

Dear Stauffer Family, I know the pain you are going through for I am approaching the third anniversary of our daughter's death. I want to share the words of this old hymn with you which speaks God's truth which is what gives us comfort. Like C S Lewis says, " If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth"

Be Still My Soul
1. Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

4. Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Tess said...

Terry and Family,
We are praying for you this weekend! We love you all very much!

Tess and family

Anonymous said...

Praying for you and your extended family this weekend and reminded that God will not leave us comfortless.
Joy C

Anonymous said...

Your blog post brought tears to my eyes and deepened the lump in my throat that has been there all day today as I think of you and Juanita and your family.

Our hearts and prayers are with you.
Love, your sis, Ruth

paige said...

My little girl had her birthday on Sept 27th & it reminded me to come and check your blog.
i sure hope that your time away as a family was just what you needed.
May God continue to meet you where you are... He sees, He hears & He has compassion.